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Enlil and his conflicted relationship with science

I like science, really. I mean, I make my living there explaining things to children such as photosynthesis, the electrostatic energy, the greenhouse effect and so on. But I'm also a person tends exponentially to the blunders and this led me to a wide range of situations quite embarrassing ...
likely to list all the fool that I did I'd need a lot of pages tends to infinity, so I'll just mention the most glaring and recent, hoping that with time you learn, before you open your mouth, that make attention to what I'm about to say.

At work

Enlil: The LED bulbs are the new generation made of silicone. (Instead of silicon)
Children: ...
Children: How to Pamela Anderson?

Enlil: The paper is produced from cellulose. (Instead of "cellulose")
Teacher: Cellulite?!
Enlil: Um, I said ... if it were produced by cells, we would have imagined when paper!

Enlil: Inside the cell contains ectoplasm. (Instead of "cytoplasm")
Children: Would you say that within us there are ghosts?!

university

Enlil: The different branches of bioethics ... (Instead of "branches")
Professor: ...
Professor: I did not know that bioethics breathe underwater.

Enlil: Not forgetting the BANK OF THE PENIS. (Instead of "seed bank")
Professor:! Student
this consideration: I certainly I did not forget the bank of the penis!

Continue (?)

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The rooster and the fox

On a branch plant in the sentry, Gallo was a master of mischief, then, when he came to be a nun, a Fox and said
"Oh you know my dear? we are at peace now, it's coming universal peace. So come down to take the embrace, quickly come down.
Why should I bear the news in a hundred places and more.
Now you are free to go about without fear around us we will be good for you sisters. Are fire and joy and good humor: to, come down to take the kiss of love.
-Amica- she answered so quickly, the cock really move me these things, and really you are much obliged.
But I want this holiday is made more solemn and more joyful making that can also hunting, which comes running from some trouble brings the olive branch.
As he arrives I go down from the tree, so peace will seem more holy. -Say hello! - said the Beguine -ho too much hurry, my path is a long-bye, at random, -morrow. And into the countryside, with empty-handed in a rush leverage their heels. In this view smiled cock and sang the famous sentence: that it is smart to double the indulgence.
JEAN DE LA FONTAINE